Success Thermostat: How We Sabotage Our Own Success
We all want to be Successful. Whatever that looks like for you. We aspire to that dream job, house or partner. However, despite our best efforts and desires, our dreams remain an illusion.
There are many reasons that we may fail to achieve our desired level of success but I have found that one of the key reasons is what I call the “success thermostat”.
A thermostat is designed to regulate the temperature of a system, ensuring it stays within a predetermined range. Similarly, many of us have an internal “success thermostat” that regulates our comfort zone.
We unconsciously sabotage our success, reverting to a comfortable status quo, much like a thermostat maintaining a set temperature. This internal mechanism is shaped by our beliefs, experiences, and perceptions of what we deserve or can achieve.
When we start to exceed these self-imposed limits, our subconscious often triggers behaviors that bring us back to our familiar baseline;
you stay in a job you hate but you won’t apply for the one you really want;
you meet a great person but you pick an unnecessary fight and stop seeing them;
you need to save money to buy a car but you blow it on things that you can’t explain.
How can we break the cycle and change the regulating system? Here are some strategies to help reset your success thermostat:
- Change your frequency: Go to places that are out of your comfort zone .
This is like changing the channel that you’re always listening to on the radio. Earlier in my life, I would go a restaurant where I could only afford a cup of tea. I’d sit there in my discomfort and the unfamiliarity and sip that tea with as much confidence as I could muster, savouring each sip like a queen. I’d go to boutiques where I’d try on dresses that cost more than my entire gross salary.
The familiarity created the belief that it was okay for me to have those things and be in those spaces.
- Change your internal narrative: Who is telling you that you can’t? Reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to identify patterns of self-limitation.
Keeping a journal can be a helpful tool for this process. A question I often write to myself and then try to answer as honestly as possible is ; Why did you say that to me? You’ll be amazed at the answers that come up which I then ask, Is this really true? Or is this still true?
- Shift your Support system: Surround yourself with supportive individuals who encourage your growth.
Distance yourself from people who act as your thermostat, wanting to keep you where they’re comfortable.
In the very least stop sharing your dreams with them. Consider working with a coach or therapist to address deeper issues.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, especially during setbacks. Fall, but rise. Success is not linear, it’s both linear and lateral. Be gently courageous!
